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Last updated June 2006 Lynette Chiang lynchiang at yahoo dot com Born: Sep 3 1962, Sydney, Australia. Bikes I ride: Bike Friday Pocket Rocket Pro Petite Bike Friday Crusoe Tourlite MY LIFE AS AN ABC (Australian Born Chinese). I developed a kind of cultural schizophrenia from day uno, being born Chinese (all study, no play) in Australia (all play, no study ... according to my Shanghainese father). At age 5, I had a passion for art and making things until my dad tore up my paintings, dragged me into the living room and, pointing to an oil landscape on the wall, said, 'Now THAT is ART!' I've never painted anything since and just holding a pastel makes my thumb numb. At age 6, I was writing conversational prose with correct grammar and punctuation. How cool to put apostrophes around a sentence like in the magazines! At age 12, I was enjoyed being asked to design posters for school socials using big fat colorful markers, under the watchful eye of the woodwork teacher, Mr Harding. These socials became known as "Harding's Disco". I worshipped Australia's greatest satirical pop group, Skyhooks, who sang about life in the Aussie 'burbs, and dreamed of meeting one ofonly two celebs I've ever cared to meet, the songwriter Greg Macainsh, who I just knew was a 'lonely guy'. (The other is Steve Martin). I saw from an early age that to combat schoolyard racism the answer was not legislation but for someone - me - to chemically alter the opiate of the masses - the popular arts and media. Knowledge isn't power. Influence is power. I owned a Gibson Les Paul copy guitar and thus vowed to become the first Asian Suzi Quattro (you remember ... 48 Crash,48 Crash it's like a lightnin' flash, a lightnin' flash ... I did not do a Suzi, but I did write some sad travel songs way down the road ... At age 16, I won 'best story' and 'best poetry anthology' in a highschool expressive writing course. The poetry anthology took me half and hour to write, I made sure it sounded like a combo of Wayne Dyer and the The Four Disagreements. The story took a little longer, but was more technique than inspiration. I felt like a fraud. MY LIFE AS A COMPUTER PROGRAMMER. To my father's dismay, I was not good at being Chinese. I did not get into medical school as he'd hoped. I did get into pharmacy and optometry. "There'll be no starving artists in my family - or pharmacists," he declared, and showed me the door (this was not 'you just go girl' America, remember). He meant well. He just didn't want me to end up what he termed a civil service drone - just like him. At age 21, not knowing what to study, I took the advice of a classmate and completed a Computer Science Degree at the Australian National University - part time, while working as a scantily clad technical assistant at the CSIRO Division of Computing Research, Canberra. Except for a freak distinction in abstract algebra (I was entranced by the sensuous Klein bottle algorithm), mathematics has always been my weakest subject. My first job: Technical Assistant (Junior) for a group of be-slippered scientists at the CSIRO, letting the paper run out of a small plotter. My first professional panic: writing a memo to the boss with an intern looking over my shoulder, and realizing I could not write to save myself. My first serious relationship: at 23, I settled down to cosy urban life with a nice bloke, nice house, coffee table books and fastish car. Just as nature intended ... I spent 10 years thus as an Oracle database programmer analyst, doing time in the Australian government (Dept Defence), private enterprise (Computer Sciences Corp), then as an independent contractor, when money in that game was sweet. I was never a brilliant computer programmer. I think I was a better talker. I much preferred organizing the company Christmas party, and writing their recruitment ads - which use to reel in interesting 'people who knew people who knew people with the qualifications' said my boss Stebbo, ruefully. I got my raise reversed for being 'unprofessional' - hawking merchandise on a client site, apparently. How could I help it if people wanted to buy the hydroponic plant on my desk? MY LIFE AS AN ADVERTISING COPYWRITER. One day, at age 30, I saw a small ad for a laser tattoo removal clinic. What kind of person does that kind of job, I wondered. I thought I could do better. Three lines popped into my head as I folded the newspaper: Get rid of the old dragon. Do away with your mum. Now you're sober, come and see us. I applied for the industry-run AWARD School (Australian Writers and Art Directors) and was judged the National Winner of 1992. I was not a popular winner - I not get a copywriting job in advertising for over a year. John Doorley gave me a chance in his small agency. I am grateful to John. After spending those three years trying to be clever, I sat in front of a small client one day and realized my fanciful $15,000 radio campaign was their rent and food money. I belatedly started to act my age. I joined Chiat/Day/Mojo after my art director and I launched a merciless direct mail campaign on CD Sean Cummins (newly a father) to get hired: like a picture of us in a baby photo frame with "Congratulations! How about adopting a couple more?". Or a coin with our mugs on both sides "still tossing up whether to hire us?". And getting a friend to hang a mobile of our image about his desk "We'll keep hanging round til you call us." Ah, those were the days. Better to be looked over, than overlooked, says mum, quoting Mae West. We did not stop when he told us to stop. We did, however, stop short of programming his phone so every button called our number. Tone. Annoyance threshold. Very important in advertising. While freelancing in 1992 I did an ad which won a Bronze Lion, Cannes International Advertising Festival, 1995. This is a biggish deal in advertising. Next job was copywriter for Saatchi & Saatchi Advertising, Melbourne, and the chance to work for a very fine human being, Philip Putnam. A few other nods (Caxtons, AWARD pencils, appearance in D&AD annual, London Int Ad finalists etc) and I knew I had to get out of the glass tower which was preventing me from giving a damn about people. I quit and left the country on a folding bicycle. MY LIFE ON A FOLDING BICYCLE. In 1997 my first journey was the classic UK bike journey, Land's End to John O'Groat's. Ireland followed, including stints as a failed waitress, then so-so cook, then copywriter at Saatchi & Saatchi Dublin. I spent a freezing winter getting my UK motorcycle licence, thinking it'd be a great way to cross the USA, but after taking one look at the McDonalds and Wendy's lined interstates, have never used it. Got the Harley Boots though ... Someone in an Irish pub who hadn't been to Costa Rica, so I turned down the offer of the S&S Dublin Creative Director job and did just that. It's the subject of my next book (in progress). I traveled Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Cuba and other places on my Bike Friday, finally rising to the oxygen-deprived heights of Creative Director of Saatchi & Saatchi's Costa Rican outpost. Rice and beans are cheap, but you still have to pay for them. Again, disillusioned with all the SUV's and razor wire around me, I quit. I started whiling away my time as a cook and manager of a mountain top hotel in Costa Rica called Avalon Reserve. It gave me plenty of time to start writing The Handsomest Man in Cuba. A New York mentor spotted my words somewhere, huunted me down in the cloud forests, loaned me a laptop, and said, 'finish the story'. SINCE THEN. In August 2002 I started officially working for Bike Friday as their Customer Evangelist and instigated the "What Do You Do On A Friday?" campaign. No clever visual puns, just ads showing the magic of who you can be when you slide your butt, be it young, old, fast, slow, famous, female, family-oriented, amazing, super-human or laid-back onto one of these bicycles. Aside: one of my ads was recently glimpsed on America's Funniest Home Video in 2003. If the Nicaraguan maid who stole my reel and CD in Costa Rica hadn't done so, I'd have it here to show you. You'll just have to believe me. See my print ads and other design work In 2003, Random House Australia/NZ published my first book, The Handsomest Man in Cuba. I returned to Australia for the first time in 7 years to be treated like John Grisham for a week on a Random House book tour. And, I could get my hands on a jar of Promite at last! In 2004, following a bit of an unfortunate fallout with my NY mentor, I designed and published the book under the name of Small Wheel Press and embarked on my own modest USA book tour with a tremendous amount of help and kindness from the whole Bike Friday community. People seem to like the book. With 25+ 5-star Amazon reviews, the main comment being "I can't put it down", I am looking for an agent or publisher to take it off my hands so I can write the next one. Know anyone? Due to my activities as cult goddess of Bike Friday, the company came top of the Saatchi & Saatchi/Lovemarks.com International Poll in 2004, with one of our customers winning the Toyota Prius over brands like Apple, Harley D, even Jesus ... Read my story about that. PROFESSIONAL RECOMMENDATIONS Some nice words people have said about me and my professional work Now surrounded by people having babies and wondering if I made the best choices ... shelved that thought and rode over the Highest Paved Road in the World, 16,000 feet, in Peru, October 2004. And maybe it's time for another sad travel song 
This is my 67-year-young mother Irene. Not bad eh? She's into techno, trance, belly dancing, jazz, jewelry making, basically having a good time after many years of hard work and no real fun. She works at Peter's of Kensington in Sydney, Australia, a shrine to all things non-dishwashersafe and dustable. A great saleswoman - you don't even know you're being sold and neither does she. Stop by and say hi. Tell her she's great. Tell her boss she's great. She's doesn't hear 'you're great' nearly enough. She's likely to wince if you tell her she's beautiful, but go ahead and do it anyway. Or email a message for her and I'll pass it on. LIKES: Fearless people. (And I'm not necessarily referring to the 'hanging-off-cliffs' kind of fear). In fact I am sure I'm not. Electronic music (IDM = intelligent dance music), as does my mother Irene. In desperation for like minded electronica buffs out of nappies in Eugene, OR, where I am paused, I founded The Electronic Grooves Appreciation Society (Eugene, OR) Quesadillas without too much cheese (Apparently these three qualities makes me a cultural creative says my good friend Bruce. SHUNS: Negative people. Judgemental people. Small minded people. Urban sprawl Malls Concrete Car culture Office politics Personal politics Any kind of politics Political correctness (that count as politics?) Multiplex cinemas I my opinion all of the above leads to sadness, frustration, and more free radicals to mop up. BEST FEATURE: Searching, questioning, free-associating mind. WORST FEATURE See Best Feature IDEAL GUY: Someone who 'gets it' and has addressed their anger problems. NIRVANA: Not cycling up Mt Everest with a blimp-assisted bicycle. Not stumbling across a new tribe in the Amazon who have yet to discover concrete. Not unearthing an ancient ruin that refutes everything about the world as we know it. But simply sitting in a step with some good friends having a good conversation. At times, this seems tougher that conquering Everest. The next person I would most like to meet: Steve Martin, on hearing in his play, Picasso at the Lapin Agile: "What is the difference between a writer and a genius? - A writer says things well, a genius, well, says things." Intermittent Fear: "Still haven't found what I'm looking for... " BOOK: The Handsomest Man in Cuba, published by Random House Australia, and by me in the USA, to be published by Globe-Pequot in Fall 2006. DIGI CAMERA MOVIES The 16,000 Feet on a Friday, biking the world's highest paved road with RAAM champ Lon Haldeman, shot entirely with a little digital camera in movie mode. Screening it to collect donations for the Puerto Ocopa Peruvian orphanage featured in the film. Contact me if your club would like to invite me to show it. Planning on writing my second and third books on maiden voyage through Britain, and my 2 years in Costa Rica. My latest movie to be released in 2006 is about Route66 by bicycle. FAVORITE THINGS: Barbara's All Natural Cheese Puffs - healthier version of that fluorescent snack food Benzels Honey Mustard Sourdough Bits - totally addictive healthy pretzel Chocolate Decadence - the best dark I've tried, made near Eugene, Oregon. Just the right sweetness, bitterness and break Promite - a thin scrape on hot buttered Great Harvest white toast and eaten upside down, because 'your tastebuds are on the top of your tongue' Honeydew Intimates - gals, for $10 their lace boyshorts are the perfect liner for wearing under bike shots. And a dress. Ooh la la. YOU TOO CAN HAVE A BODY LIKE THIS ... I start each day with a cocktail of (organic) 2 carrots, 1 big apple, 2 sticks celery and a slice of fresh ginger, whizzed with filtered water in a Vitamix - that is, retaining all pulp. A little bit of Stevia powder sweetens it when necessary. Apart from that I eat very little meat and my rice is always brown. For years I suffered from major skin allergies due to the standard parabens and preservatives that exist in all lotions and shampoos. I finally found a line of stuff that works for me: Sense by USANA I was so impressed I signed up to be a distributer but I've been too busy to do anything about selling it except to tell you about it here. It's sold direct, so if you're not allergic to that kind of marketing, contact my friend Janet, janet at usana dot com and tell her I sent you. Just like ordering a Bike Friday! FAVORITE HEALTHY SUGAR HIT: Brookrod's Friend's Grandmother's Aunt's Choc Pudding Recipe (from when I lived in Duma Community, Eugene, Oregon, an intentional community house) Use a mug as a measuring cup. Combine: 1 cup flour (wholemeal/white), half cup walnuts, half cup chopped dried fruit say dates, apricots, sultanas, coconut (optional), 2 tsp baking powder, quarter teaspoon salt, half cup sugar (I sometimes use 1/3 cup fructose or combo with stevia), 2 tbsp dark cocoa (try to find the rich dark organic kind, the Aussie Bournville is a bit weak). Stir in: 2 tbsp melted butter, half cup milk (I use soy). Pour mix into a greased ovenproof dish. Sprinkle on top: 1 cup brown sugar mixed with 2 more tablespoons of that dark cocoa Pour over: 1-2 cups boiling water Bake in hot over 190 degrees Celsius 45 mins. The water should create a gooey sauce - don't dry it out. Serve warmish with ice cream. There's more, but ... as They Inc. say: the more you say, the less people hear. Keep an eye on my latest news and if you're short on your own, my innermost thoughts (for foul weather friends) lynchiang at yahoo dot com |
